Is this thing working?
Are we getting anything? I can't tell if it's on or not.
It's on now. Thanks.
Folks, you want to listen for a minute, please?
Please, sit down. We don't want to keep repeating these things...
but there are two or three of you assholes out there who don't want to listen.
We're asking you to take your seats.
We cannot begin the show until everyone is seated.
Thanks for your cooperation, we're sorry about the delay.
Rockwell, any sign of him?
God damn it, it's been two-and-a-half hours.
Where the fuck is he?
Sounds like the gunfire at the O.K. Corral out here.
I don't know what's going on. We may have to get the equipment off.
If he's not here in 15, I'm putting the group on anyway.
Hold it.
Nanook of the North, let's go buddy.
Let's go, we got a show to do.
Get out of the car. Watch your hands.
- Come on, let's go. - John Norman, it's me.
You been out shopping, or what?
Let's go, let's clear the stage hall out of here.
You people don't have backstage passes, we're gonna find your asses out!
All of you, get the hell out of here!
Let's go, security.
Where's my security?
You were hired to keep these people out of this damn hall.
If you don't have backstage passes, you get your asses out.
Keep it going for four and a half, then turn the amps on.
Very good, Rockwell.
Little treat here for you, slick.
This will get you set.
I'll be up here.
Are you okay?
Okay, folks, I thank you for your patience.
Would you welcome please, the John Norman Howard Speedway!
Are you a figment of my imagination...
or am I one of yours?
You guys aren't using the new math on me?
Old logic. Half the people walk out, the other half are comps.
Where was the promotion? I didn't see any ads.
- Anybody see the ads? - I don't see the big attraction.
How's it going?
- "Don't be frightened, baby, come on in." - I can't hear you.
"Don't be frightened, baby, come on in."
- Is that all there is to it? - That's all there is to it.
That ain't so goddamn much.
I'm sorry, this booze'll blow your brain.
- The refrain, friend! - What's coming down?
I have temporary amnesia.
No, listen, we did that song 3,726 times.
- We've been waiting five fucking hours! - Come on!
Yeah, let's go!
- If you feel that way about it... - Hey, turkey!
...go to hell!
Know what? Go with Nicky.
No, I know them all. Honey, you get in this car.
We'll sort out who's with who later. Yeah, go on in, don't worry about it.
- No, baby. - Security!
Come here. Get these guys.
Come on, John, don't you remember me?
I know an intern who can get you some adrenalin.
I mean, pure adrenalin.
- He rips it off from emergency hospitals. - Move it.
- 'Cause we need room for the truckers. - How can I screw up a fella's bass?
- Got to go out for the rain date. - Tonight was shit.
And it's gonna be shit tomorrow night...
if you don't go home and get some shuteye.
Everybody out.
Sweetheart, let me help you out.
If you don't have a key, see me at the desk.
- I can do you, too. - I got all the adrenalin I need.
- Let's go, Mo. - Sweetheart, excuse me.
Let's go up to the room, roll one, get a good sleep...
get a sound check, and make good music.
- What do you say? - Not tonight, I can't sleep, man.
- Bobby, let's go boogie. - Boogie?
Where you going to boogie to? We've got a gig tomorrow. It's important.
You don't seem to understand, jack.
We had to book four groups in here to get enough people to fill this place up.
Brian gave his word personally that you'd show up straight enough...
to remember the words of the damn song, and there's 50,000 people coming...
to see if you've still got something to show.
Are you ready?
You horse's ass, it took a court order to get you back on stage.
Don't you understand that? After Detroit, your ass is on the line.
- I'm not shitting you. - The hell with it.
- Come on, Mo, let's go. - Goddamn.
Hey...
- I don't want you to blow this deal. - Floor it.
Where to?
Back about 10 years.
Yeah, but, what about tonight?
Will you welcome, please, the Oreos.
- Sorry. - What a thrill.
I want to shake your hand, man.
I mean, I love the way you do it.
- Where you playing? You playing in town? - No.
- Where you playing now? - Stop.
Hey, man, I wouldn't do anything to bug you.
Can I buy you a beer?
This table's reserved.
We got a nice table for you, Mr. John Norman.
Wine, beer, or herbal tea?
- What? - Wine, beer, or herbal tea.
- Those are the options? - Right.
We don't have a license.
So what are you planning to do with that bottle?
I was planning to open it.
You can't do that, we don't have a license.
Wine, beer, or herbal tea.
Do you make herbal iced tea?
- Bring me some herbal iced tea. - Okay.
- Without the herbal tea. - Why don't you give me the bottle...
It's stupid.
We don't have a license.
Well, you don't tell, and I won't tell.
- Don't you think you've had enough? - Of what?
I could lose my job this way.
Well, we don't want that to happen, do we?
Just turn your back. What you don't know won't hurt you.
Why don't I hold that bottle till you leave?
What are you going to do with my bottle?
Right on.
You're blowing my act.
Okay.
I'm sorry, really I am.
You don't mind, John, just one?
Okay, smile.
Terrific.
Thanks, pal.
John Norman, how you doing?
Shut it, man.
I want a moment of peace.
Son of a bitch!
You ain't going dry while I'm around.
I'm Marty, this is Sheila. She's a big fan of yours.
I saw you on TV, I thought you were lousy...
but Sheila, she really liked you. Didn't you, Sheila?
I thought he was okay.
- Let's listen to the song, man, it's great. - That's shit.
John Norman, why don't you go up there and sing us a song.
I can't, they're working.
Don't tell me about work, superstar. I work for a living!
- Shut up and let the lady sing. - Shut up your goddamn self.
She only bought every album you ever made.
She paid for those clothes. Now get up there and sing her a song!
Not tonight, Sheila.
Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?
It means this drink ain't worth it, friend.
What the hell is going on?
That's a hell of a way to act.
- Okay. Everybody's out! - He didn't sing for me.
Everybody out.
Pay your checks at the door. We have to close for the night.
Esther, don't forget your sweater.
See you, guys.
- Through the back. - Sing for me.
- Wait up. - He'll sing for you in the car.
- Hey, Mo! - Look you better get out of here fast!
- I ain't going without you. - What?
I don't even know you. I know you, but I don't know you.
Talk to me then. Let's get inside. It's raining.
- I have to go home. Don't be silly. - We'll drive you.
- Get in the car. We're getting wet. - Wait a minute here.
Come on, go on, get out of here.
Just once, I'd like to go someplace without a hassle.
- You're not responsible, right? - I wish I was invisible.
You can really be invisible in this thing.
Want your bottle back?
- Oh, God, here they come. - Hit it, Mo, here comes the posse.
Stop driving around here, you shithead.
- Come on back, honey. - I'll beat you, man.
- Can we go to the car now? - Fucking star!
What am I doing in here? You're crazy.
You want everything, right?
You're a hell of a singer.
How could you tell? You were talking through my whole song.
- Not me, that other guy wouldn't shut up. - So you had to hit him, right?
What was I supposed to do? Sit there and let him pop me.
All you did was make him a hero.
You gave him a story for the next couple of years. Are you drunk?
Jesus, you talk a lot.
- I always talk a lot when I'm nervous. - Where are we heading?
Back to the motel.
No, 211 Orchid Street, please. It's in Hollywood.
Aren't you embarrassed driving around in a thing like this?
Isn't this the kind of car they use for funerals?
- You change the subject a lot. - What was the subject?
God, you've got incredible eyes.
Do you fish?
Do I what?
- I was trying to tell you how you sing. - Like a fish?
There's a rush.
There's a little ball of fire inside you whenever you hook into a big marlin.
And you never forget it. And that's what it felt like...
hearing you sing.
That's nice.
That sounded nice.
Check into a motel and call up Bobby.
- Well, thanks for the ride. - Wait a minute, are you married?
Not anymore, why? Are you?
Oh, Esther, how ridiculous.
You read about it in the entertainment section.
Listen, I'm sorry.
I'm not used to the rich and famous. It makes me act stupid.
You're acting okay. I ain't done so hot.
Let's start clean.
- You've got a beautiful mouth. - Even though I talk too much?
You have a great ass.
You live alone?
Terrific.
I wouldn't send up fireworks about it.
- Well, actually, I want to come in. - Well, actually, no.
Why not?
Listen...
if you want to come back for breakfast, I'll make beaten biscuits.
- I don't eat breakfast. - Oh, okay, well, good night.
But I will, damn it. And we'll have beaten breakfast.
Or beaten biscuits.
What time is it? It's got to be 4:00.
- In two hours I'll be back here at 6:00. - Make it 7:00.
Come on, wake up, it's 6:55.
Don't ever scare me like that again.
Just a minute!
I'll be right there!
Okay.
Hi, it's me.
Breakfast.
- Sausage pizza for breakfast? - No, it's pepperoni.
- You got the biscuits ready? - I never made biscuits in my life.
- I was just doing a number on you. - I know, that's why I brought the pizza.
Got anything to drink? Anything to drink in here?
You mean like orange juice?
- Trying to improve my character? - You could use it.
- Hello, brother. - Where are you?
- Back... - Beer, wine, anything?
- Now, listen, slick, whatever it is... - Mo will get us to the airport.
You just save us a place on the chopper. I'm bringing someone with me.
- What's your name? - Esther Hoffman.
Hoffman?
Jesus, I love that.
Why?
In the past year, I bet you're the only girl I've met with a last name.
Be there! Are you gonna be there? You better be there!
- You be there! - I'll be there, Bobby.
- Just be there, damn it! - I'll be there.
What went wrong?
- With what? - It's "with whom."
Your old man.
He put mayonnaise on his liver and onions.
He wouldn't fight.
There you go.
You like a fight.
Less tenderness, more on the wild side.
I can take all the tenderness you got, as a matter of fact.
Eat your breakfast.
- I told you, I don't eat breakfast. - What are you doing here, then?
I'm picking you up.
There's some raceway, we got a concert.
I'm not that kind of girl.
First we meet through mutual friends, then you call me in a week.
- Then I think about it. - It's this afternoon.
But you didn't even ask me.
I swear, I got the manners of a hog.
Esther...
- it'd mean a lot to me if you came. - Okay, I'll come.
Tell me again how you like to be invisible.
- Esther Hoffman. - How do you do?
Bless your heart!
Let's go.
- All right, this is me getting up. - Are the people following?
This is what I hired you for, God damn it.
I'm sorry. Get that off.
Here they are.
Esther, that's good. I'm Gary Danziger.
John Norman's PR man.
Bobby told me about you. This is Pumpkin, everybody.
Rolling in to it.
Is your last name Pie?
It's all right!
Let's get crazy down in the first row.
Where's Rockwell?
Let's go.
Over here.
John. There you are.
How is it?
Smell the monsters in there.
Okay, folks, good things are certainly worth waiting for.
Would you welcome John Norman Howard Speedway!
Are you a figment of my imagination, or am I one of yours?
Come on out and see how it feels in the lights.
No!
- There aren't any lights! - You want lights? Give her lights!
John, the audience is gonna walk out. Anyway, the sun's out.
Strike the sun and give her a pink spot.
You are crazy, you better go back there.
They are gonna get mad at you. Go back on the stage!
- Hey, where are you going? - I'm going with her, Bob, is that okay?
- Oh, man, you're beautiful. - You're crazy.
I love what you do.
Can't say much for your kissing but I love your bike.
It's yours, man. I mean it, it's yours.
- You got to be kidding. - Come on, John.
Get back on the stage.
You're gonna kill yourself!
Just giving them what they want.
Stop him.
Get off that motorcycle. Get off that goddamn motorcycle.
- Rockwell, get me an ambulance! - Okay, folks, he's all right.
Believe me, he is okay. Please move away from the scene.
If anyone's hurt, go to the medical aid station.
Please move back, let the stretcher through right in front here.
Let the stretcher through, please.
Please move back from the front of the stage.
Everything will be okay.
That's the third time he's done that.
Move it.
Wait up!
This time, only 17 people were hurt.
Sweetheart, listen to me, Brian is trying to turn this disaster into a plus.
Yeah, dignity. We give it dignity.
We plant a story with Time, The New York Times.
- Not just the rock creeps. - Good idea.
How about something simple, like "nobody was killed"?
I'm with John Norman Howard, what's doing?
Portside, that's where the action is.
- Bloody mary. - You go by her house?
Who's that?
- Esther. - Yes, she wasn't home.
Son of a bitch. Why won't she call me?
What is all this fuss about this girl?
Maybe she just doesn't like your style.
When Brian says he's canceling the tour...
he does not mean it in a pejorative or punitive way, sweetheart.
- It'll be John Norman's decision. - I don't have all day.
- Let's move it. - What? Cancel what out?
The tour's a disaster and the promoters won't take that kind of shit.
Late starts and the legal hassles, damage to the halls.
Somebody has to be realistic. Yes?
$27,000 deducted for vodka, $11,000 for orange juice.
The man likes screwdrivers.
Why don't you go and get laid, it's been almost three hours.
- Then there's the tax lean. - We've got 50% going out to taxes.
By the time he pays his agent's fees, business management, expenses, dues...
What does the government want from him?
$186,654.32.
Come on, John.
You're getting to be a cosmic joke. Come on, enough is enough.
John, I've had inexhaustible patience.
Come on, man, I've kept my temper.
I've left you alone to do as you please. Now you've got to help.
I can put you into the Indian Relief Benefit, if you get there on time.
The promoters don't give a shit.
They'll put you in anything, if they can make a buck.
- Who the hell is that? - John Norman Howard...
an oldie but a goodie on KLAX. Hey, John Norman...
- Wait a minute, Bebe Jesus. - Bebe Jesus.
Hey, big John, why don't you come down and rap with us, man...
on our All-time Top 40 weekend?
Three of which are John Norman Howard's.
Platinum Planet played by Bebe Jesus!
50,000 watts of KLAX power, man.
- John Norman, up here. - John!
Don't shoot, big John. Hey, man, we're on your side, man.
Don't do it!
See that?
You crazy bastard.
48 straight hit-making hours and not once am I gonna mention your name.
Shit face!
Very funny, Howard.
Hello, police?
I need to report a sniper.
A sniper.
That's an unknown person who fires a gun.
God damn it, I don't know how many shots he fired.
He just fired at us. That's all. I'm Bobby Ritchie.
John Norman Howard's road manager.
I love it here in Hollywood, it's so much fun.
Honey.
- You, the one on the right. - Which one?
The kinky-headed one. Yeah, you.
You're too strong anyway, pull it down some.
- Okay, listen, one more time, okay? - Okay.
I know it's funny, but we need the money.
- Take 7. - We got the first part, let's do a pick up.
Girls, we've already got the first part, so let's just pick it up from:
- "Kittens have to chew." - Okay.
- It's "Love to chew." - "Love to chew."
"That kittens love to chew."
- Right. Yes, sir. - Got it, all right.
Rolling.
Meow Chow cat food commercial, Take 7.
I'm hungry.
This is terrible, you can't... How do you think the old cats feel?
Forget about that. Just get rid of her.
Okay, girls, Take 10. Try to pull yourselves together.
- Okay. - We don't have time for this.
Get rid of her.
- What's the matter? What's wrong? - I always crack up when I'm sad.
Okay, girls, thank you. That's it.
I'm sorry.
I'm allergic to cats anyway.
- See you later. - Okay.
I got a phone in here. I can have a cop in here in a minute.
I'm sorry.
Who gives a rat's ass?
You took a shot at me, man. My lawyers are talking about it.
Okay. What the hell is it?
KLAX with Bebe Jesus.
You'll never guess who just walked in here...
with his hat in his hand.
I'm not even going to mention his name on the air.
But his lawyers told him he better get on the right side of Bebe Jesus...
because Bebe don't take no jive...
from no burned-out superstar.
- Who needs him? - I said I'm sorry.
Oh, he says he's sorry.
Can't bite no more, but he still can lick.
Why don't you take this...
shit, or whatever it is, out of my office.
Because I don't take nothing from you. I don't take your bribe.
And I'll tell you why...
because you are a rude...
joyless, burned-out...
spoiled pain in the ass!
And we're bored by you.
Stop that son of a bitch! Get a cop down here, man.
This fucker's crazy, get a cop down here!
You son of a bitch! Fucker!
Send the bill to my business manager.
He'll lose his money. Came in the studio and went berserk.
He never had a woman he didn't send away screaming.
Who told you that?
Nobody told me. I read it at the check stand at the supermarket.
But he's cute.
Look, guys, I'll see you later, okay?
- There he is. - Speak of the devil.
- Excuse me. - Where did you go?
Everywhere you go fighting breaks out and things get broken.
Have you noticed that?
I called you eight times. How come you never called me back?
- Excuse me. - How come you never called me back?
I tried three times.
The fourth time, I got a disconnected number.
What do you mean? Oh, Jesus! Hey, what's the date?
Oh, God.
They change my phone every six weeks, because I get all these whacko calls.
Listen, I'm really glad you're okay.
And I'd like to wish you lots of luck, because you'll need it.
Wait a minute.
It'll never work. I'm a non-violent person.
- We got so many things to talk about. - I don't think so.
Yeah, we do. I need to know some things.
I don't even know your Social Security number.
You could've reached me if you'd wanted to. I'm real easy to reach.
All you got to do is call my public relations man...
he calls my agent, my agent calls my business manager...
who calls my personal manager, he calls the secretary...
who makes a list and gives it to me in a green folder every other Tuesday.
- Which you never open. - Which I give unopened to my PR man.
To handle.
- It's my birthday today. - What?
It's my birthday. I can't handle it. Let's run away.
Or meet my mother, or marry me.
Sure, maybe when you need a tambourine I get to shake it.
Maybe.
Esther...
I want you.
I don't want to lose you again.
Is today really your birthday?
You just changed the subject again.
Where's the hearse?
Come on.
I bought it because it looked so much like you.
- What do you mean? - Fast and out of my league.
One of the privileges of wealth?
- Calm them down. - I ain't getting out.
Hold them, Mo.
- Hi. - Hi. How are you?
Can't you guys be more friendly?
Don't be afraid.
Come on, boys, we got company.
See how they listen to me? Don't be scared, they're harmless.
You like living like this?
Like what?
How many rooms are you crammed into here?
I don't know exactly.
This is a funny place.
Yeah, I haven't got it all together yet.
Wow!
What are you planning here? A skating rink, or what?
It's going to be a studio.
This is wild.
You can throw your own block party, indoors.
We're going to record here.
If we ever get the acoustics right.
Well, as long as you're having fun in it.
Otherwise, I'd get rid of it.
Yeah, that's what I'd do.
They tell me it's an investment.
When you want to eat, you order in some deli?
Chinese takeout, mostly.
- Are you an alcoholic? - Probably.
You could have used some vocational guidance.
Well, what did I do wrong?
You're living in a million-dollar slum. Why do you do that?
What were you, rich or poor?
You're cute.
You are fucking cute.
Who are you, Esther Hoffman?
Where did you come from?
There are so many rooms here.
This is a great house for people who never want to see each other.
Come on, I'll give you a tour.
Where are the phones? No phones?
There's one out by the pool, when I need it.
I just happen to love it when the phone rings.
You won't love it, when it wakes you up at 4:00 in the morning.
Somebody you never heard of is calling to tell you he's full of Quaaludes...
and he's got a gun...
and you're the only person in the world who can tell him...
why he shouldn't use it.
Aren't you going to cross my "T"?
How clumsy of me.
Why do they call you?
They love my music. They think I got all the answers.
You mean, you don't?
I don't even understand the questions.
- Who cleans up around here? - I don't know.
- You don't know? - My manager takes care of it.
I'm always on a plane somewhere.
Too many takeoffs, too many landings...
too many places I didn't want to go.
I've been on too many planes.
I've only been on two.
Wait a minute, is a helicopter a plane?
I got to teach you everything.
Been on two planes and you think you got the answer to...
for anyone who calls you up.
How many names have you painted around this house?
One.
Jesus, that's pretty. What is it?
Just a little piece I wrote.
I keep hoping it'll be a sonata when it grows up.
Make a hell of a song.
I can't imagine that. It goes so high, nobody could ever sing it.
Play it again. Just like you done it before.
- Real sweet. - Okay.
With them little allegros or whatever.
Arpeggios. Okay.
I'm sorry. That was so good!
- Don't quit. - I got so lost in what you were doing...
- I forgot my own song. Can we continue? - Yeah.
- Pick it up, right where you were. - Okay. Right where I was going.
Okay, ready?
No.
We got to get past that word or you'll never forgive me.
Come on, it gets prettier.
I really did forget my song.
Wait. Ready, get set, go.
- It's a pretty song. Family hour. - Ready? Here we go.
God, that's wonderful.
It's your song.
Is that inside your head?
- You're so pretty. - Oh, kiss my ass.
- Let's do it again. - I'm tired.
Come on.
You want to make me into a machine?
- I want to make you a perfectionist. - I already am a perfectionist.
Running in and picking up the bathmat after every shower I take doesn't count.
- You noticed that? - Do it.
Wait. Again.
Wait a minute. Again.
Now that's closer. You got a little righteous anger into it.
You reckon you can handle two lines?
I reckon I can try.
Well, then, play it for me.
I also wash out your hairbrush.
Just what am I supposed to tell Brian?
You're standing here, your album is three months overdue.
They got a beef and it's legitimate.
Listen, they said your tour was shit...
you're handing in old stuff you rejected... Turn that down a minute.
Yet you rejected from old albums.
Where's your new stuff? And now you're recording a chick.
She's great.
I know she's great, I love her, man.
But if you're going to record her, record her right.
Get her with somebody who can complement her.
I don't think it's Speedway.
I wanted something to show somebody, and I got who I know.
Shit, Bobby, these guys are as good as you can get.
Slick, don't pull that shit with me.
I know who they are, I know how good they are...
and what they got that is special.
John Norman?
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. - Certainly.
- How are you doing, baby? - Look...
you know I'm grateful and all that, right?
- And they're fantastic musicians, but... - What's wrong?
It's just not like what's in my head.
- How do you hear it? - They have these guitar things going...
I love it. I love this part, don't you?
And the piano also is going like this...
You know? Like chords like that.
Instead of... What I hear is a kind of rolling thing.
- Classical? Like classical? - Yeah.
It's your move. This one's on you, slick.
I feel embarrassed, I don't know how to tell them.
Well, you're exactly right.
- And I'll tell them. - Oh, great.
- Thank you. - Thank you, John.
I'm not bad for him.
- Well, he ain't working. - Man, that was great.
He can pass a day without being drunk and can sleep without downers.
- So we're gonna try it again tomorrow. - He ain't working, Esther. Rock and roll.
It's your dime.
- So tomorrow we record it as she wants it. - God damn it, women.
Okay.
We're really happy to have with us for the American Indian Relief Fund...
the star of our show, the John Norman Howard Speedway!
Are you a figment of my imagination, or am I one of yours?
Get ready for anything now.
Wait, hear me out. At ease.
Now wait a minute, you just think you want to hear that same old shit.
This being a benefit, hold it, for a good cause...
and just by being here you all deserve more than you're getting...
so, we're fixed to do you all a favor. Hold it.
Me and the boys stumbled onto something real...
a little while back.
It's so good. That's right.
That crazy son of a bitch. This may have something to do with you.
Me? What are you talking about?
Well, keep it up, man.
You got the corner on the ignorance market!
What's going on?
- What are you doing, you bastard? - Trust me.
- Why should I trust you? - Let's go.
- Why not? - Oh, shut up.
I am not prepared. What are you doing?
You just recorded 10 songs with these guys.
Motherfucker.
- Charm them. - What am I going to sing?
All right, that's real good.
We've seen your act, now shut the fuck up.
Give the lady a chance, all right?
A friend of mine...
Esther Hoffman.
- Why don't you do Woman in the Moon? - Okay.
I love you.
Great. You got some more to do.
No. Really.
Promise you won't go away?
You stay right here.
- Hold on, you don't wanna leave. - Where is John?
I remember you, I'm sure you don't remember me.
- I remember you. How's your pumpkin? - That's good!
- I want you to meet some people. - There she is!
Esther!
Hello, I'm Freddie Lowenstein.
- The JS's agent. - You were awesome.
Thank you.
- I want you to meet Brian Wexler. - That was extraordinary.
- John Norman's manager. - How do you do?
Very nice to meet you.
Did you see John Norman? Where is John Norman?
I'll get John Norman for you.
- I'll get him. - Please get him for me.
No, this ain't gonna happen now. I'll get back to you.
We'll send a bio in the morning, you hear me?
- Would you get him and bring back to me? - Yes.
You handle this here.
Anything else you need?
Hey, just a second.
Turn off this light!
Esther, I want you to meet Ricky Vingo, K3SC, Seattle.
Let's take it easy, all right?
- What name are you performing under? - Wait a minute.
What?
- Ever think of changing the name? - Why would I do that?
I'd need a new driver's license, stationery, Social Security number.
It really would be a bother.
Excuse me. Please. Excuse me.
- Esther, we love you. - You are beautiful.
Out of the way!
Esther, you're dynamite, but get rid of the creep.
What just happened?
You did it! It's all yours, baby!
Everything you want.
Your own personal piece of the American dream.
It's not everything I want. You know what I want?
You know what it means, don't you?
You're gonna be on the road.
That's every cliché you ever heard about it.
You got your junk food and your jailhouse tan.
Lots of crazy strangers.
It's a full-tilt boogie, from motel to motel.
I want to marry you.
You got your basic meeting with your basic mayor...
you got the basic keys to the city, only you don't know what city you're in.
I want to marry you.
No, you don't.
I drink too much, I throw my money away.
I owe the government $180,000.
- Don't you want to? - That's not the point.
So do I, so we should do it together.
I never thought I'd get married again. You'd be lucky to have me.
It's not my luck I'm worried about.
Shut up! We're talking here!
I want you.
What do you know what you want? You been on two planes...
I really do want you, Johnny.
Don't bullshit me, Esther.
I might start believing you.
John Norman Howard, do you take this woman as your husband... wife?
Excuse me.
John Norman Howard, do you take this woman as your wife?
I do.
Esther Leona Hoffman, do you take this man as your husband?
Wait a minute. No. That's it? That can't be. It's too short.
What about the "love, honor...
"and obey till death do us part" part?
Honey, this is what they tell us to say.
If you want the long form you have to do it in church.
Anyway, "obey" is out, the dawn of a new century.
- Say "cherish," it's friendlier. - That's okay.
I'm already stretching this, doing it out here instead of in my office.
Are you gonna do it, or not?
I'm gonna do it.
Me, too.
- Me, too. - Good.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
- That's so funny. - It's strange.
All the people are looking. We're married, stop that.
This is a sample gift, courtesy of the city.
Let's get out of here before we get arrested!
I can't believe it! What is this, a box of candy?
Pre-moistened handy wipes...
fabric softener, stain remover...
strawberry douche?
- Everything for a perfect marriage kit! - Strawberry douche?
Unless you prefer apricot.
Over there?
Wait.
How much further is it?
We are on it.
- This is your farm? - Ranch, Esther.
This is your average 88,000-acre, non-working ranch.
You mean as far as I can see, you own it?
You and I own it, babe, community property.
You and I, and the First National Bank of Tucson...
and the Bankers Trust in Phoenix.
Brian's got a second mortgage in there somewhere.
I bet he does.
Outright, I think, you and I own maybe a quarter of an acre.
That's plenty.
Look at the clouds.
- Where's your ranch house? - This is it.
What do you mean, "this is it"?
- This is it. - Where?
Hold it, let's do it right.
This is getting to be a habit.
I kind of like it.
- This is the stone entranceway. - Stone?
Careful of those five steps.
Thanks for telling me.
- You're in the kitchen. - The kitchen?
- I thought you lived here. - I do.
It's just not finished yet.
- How come you never finished it? - I guess I never had a reason to.
What do you think of it?
It's beautiful.
- Where's the bedroom? - You're standing in it.
How convenient to put a kitchen in the bedroom.
Watch out. Wait a minute, I'll get a blanket.
You're gonna get stickers in your ass.
I don't care.
That's the spirit that built the West!
Great place.
We don't even have any floors yet!
Look at this. Isn't that beautiful?
Stop, don't!
It's in my ear!
I can't hear anything.
I'm so sorry.
- I'm drowning! You have to do first aid. - Quick, aid, medic!
Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
I'm drowning, honey.
I want you to always do what you want, okay?
You're so cute. You're fucking cute!
Esther, I'm not cute. I've told you not to call me cute.
You are cute.
You sure like whipped cream.
Tastes much better that way, doesn't it?
I love to watch you eat.
I never seen anything like it.
You put your whole heart and soul, and back, and everything else into it.
You just like me, don't you?
Well, yes!
Look what Brian gave us...
- for a wedding present. - What did Brian get us?
It appears to be...
Look at this. We can do our whole tour in trash-flash.
I'll get you a matching sequined guitar strap.
Your tour, baby, not ours.
A genuine, leather-bound, hand-illustrated...
sixteenth-century edition of the Kamasutra.
We could have used a toaster.
What's that?
- Who would send us an empty bottle? - Me.
You like this? Look at this! How would this look?
It'll never work under the lights.
I'm not gonna plan my life around the lights.
You are right now. You haven't earned the right not to yet.
Crap! You know how I hate that attitude.
You can tell me how to do it and you won't do it yourself.
I do not like this anymore than you do.
Please do it with me.
Please do the tour with me. It would mean so much to me.
You're a charmer...
and you got a sweet little ass, but I ain't going to.
Either you do this tour with me, or, God damn it, I won't do it.
I'll stay home and bake bread. We'll get fat and our teeth will fall out.
That would be just great. Because you're so good in the kitchen.
Fucker.
For God's sake.
Love and cherish?
How are you going to cherish me in traction, you dumb bastard?
Get yourself paralyzed from the neck down...
how you gonna think we are ever gonna have a baby? Stop it!
What are you doing?
Stop!
John Norman!
You son of a bitch!
What did you do that to me for? I thought you were dead!
I'm too pretty to die!
You pervert!
Bullshit, what's wrong with you?
You only feel alive when you're scaring yourself half to death?
Who was scared? You were scared, I wasn't scared.
You're such an asshole sometimes.
Honestly!
- Quit that. - You knew that all the time.
Life is so lousy with me, you want to leave it?
Hold still!
No, I will not, I don't like hairy men!
Look what you did to me!
Then off it goes. How clumsy of me.
- Off what goes? - The beard, I'll cut it off!
- What are you going to do? - Cut her off.
What do you mean? Cut what off? Come on back.
You just keep wondering about it.
Stop being like a nut!
What are you going to do now? How are you going to top that one?
You're crazy, you're a damn fool.
Stop it! Come on, how would I recognize you?
I don't know what you would look like.
I might be very superficial and not even like you anymore.
Don't scare me anymore, Johnny.
Just hold me.
If you ever die, I'll kill you.
I ain't never going to die.
- Promise? - Yeah, I promise.
- Hell, I'll go on your goddamn tour. - Really?
I love you!
Do you realize how long it's been since you've seen anybody but me?
Yeah, and I love it.
It gives the day a focus. I wake up looking at you.
I go to sleep looking at you. It's simple and I can handle it.
Oh, no!
Shit.
God!
Esther looks great and happy. I'm happy for her and I'm happy for you.
Brian, what did you bring me out here to say?
You seem like somebody I knew a long time ago.
It's nice.
You don't want me going out on the road with her, right?
John, remember, I'm talking to you as a man who loves you.
Esther's got her own music and her own public.
They want her, you they're suing. She shouldn't have to pick up on that.
Jeez, don't beat around the bush.
Tell me what you feel about me going out on tour with that lady.
- Can you take it? - Certainly I can take it.
You blew it.
Your songs don't work. You're causing people a lot of trouble.
- People are getting hurt. - I was wrong...
Her single's Number 6 with a bullet.
She's up for a Grammy, she's ready to fly on her own.
Let her go, John.
Think you're telling me something I don't know?
I've been trying to tell her that.
I know our music doesn't even belong on the same stage...
but she doesn't want to do it on her own.
Maybe you could produce her tour.
I can't even keep a bank account, man.
You might enjoy it.
Me and the boys are getting back together.
We got some new stuff.
Better than anything you ever heard.
You're gonna love it.
John, about Esther...
All right. I will tell her. Don't worry about it, Brian.
- Great! - I don't want to laugh.
Don't laugh. That's great!
Serious? Perfect.
- Then what? - Do seedy.
Now I'm in trouble.
Esther sings.
I'm tired, can I get off this barstool?
- Sure, give me a chance to reload. - Just take a little break.
- How are you doing down there? - Fine.
Freddie? I want you to come outside and look at this goddamn view.
I already saw it, thanks a lot.
Out here, Freddie. You won't believe it, come.
- Like it? - I love it!
I got a terrific idea for the middle of the set!
I was gonna talk to you about that.
Sorry I'm taking so long, Esther...
I was gonna have an assistant, but I was afraid it'd spoil the mood.
You changed your mind.
When I photograph someone for the first time, it's got to be perfect.
- You're not gonna do the tour. - I've been thinking a lot about that...
I think it's right that you should go out and do it by yourself.
If I'm on a bill...
- they can say I'm carrying you. - Since when do you care what people say?
I care what they say about you.
Esther, relax. Your face, my God, this light is fantastic.
I don't want do it alone. I am scared of going public.
You're already gone, babe.
Esther.
Beautiful.
What do you think about the reviews on your new album?
- I haven't read them. - They're selling like crazy.
I heard some are good...
my manager tells me some are terrible, I don't really care.
I don't go into a studio and say I'm gonna cut a hit record.
I just cut songs I like.
She's able to handle it pretty good. Better than I would.
Johnny, I wish I could go with you.
When you finish your TV thing, you can come on the road with us.
Listen, darling, you've never heard the Speedway when we're really cooking.
- You're gonna be proud of me. - I am proud of you already, Johnny.
What am I gonna do without you for six whole hours?
I'll write you.
Okay, I got to go.
Okay.
Give the guys a hug for me.
I miss you already.
- Esther. - What?
- What's the matter? - I was just taking another look.
You're crazy.
It's Amelia Earhart.
What's all this?
Did you hear any of that?
- What is it? - That's Freeway.
That's your new album, it's gonna be released in three weeks.
We're still cutting basic tracks.
Nothing changes but the changes, slick.
Freeway?
Last I heard it was the Speedway.
Then I guess you haven't heard. They're the hottest thing since Tabasco.
When did all this happen?
Survival.
We thought you retired, slick.
Now that the old lady's working...
can't expect these guys to sit around while you're out lollygagging...
in the desert with Esther.
They got a single chasing up the charts right now, Number 5 with a bullet.
Don't you ever listen to your radio?
I had my radio turned off for about a minute.
Gotta get some more of that.
- Come on outside with me. - Bring that up, Lou.
Is your old lady on the road, or what?
She had to stop the tour for that television thing.
You're not gonna believe this.
All the way over here, I've been trying to think how I was gonna tell you all...
- about this thing I got to do. - What? Tell me.
But it's perfect now.
They want me to go out on the road. They want me alone, without Speedway...
with some new material. It's good.
But it's different. It's a different sound, you see.
I have been working...
with these couple of young punks I found...
in a club out there in some canyon, and they're hungry...
and they love my stuff, man, and it's exciting.
That's good, I'm glad.
What time is it anyway, man?
I don't know... Come in here a minute.
- Got a rehearsal. - No. Come on.
I can't do it. Would you tell them I like what they are doing?
- I love you, brother. - And I love you, man.
Can somebody pick that up out there?
Hello?
Yes, this is 652-1652. No, she isn't in here now.
No, this isn't her secretary.
No, this isn't her answering service.
Yeah, bye.
God damn it! Pick up the phone out there!
Hoffman residence.
No, she isn't here yet.
All right, I'll tell her. Yes.
John Norman?
Over here.
Hi!
How did it go?
God, it's dark in here.
How can you work in the dark?
Tell me. I can't wait to hear.
What happened with the guys?
Do you know when you are going out with them?
I'll be your groupie, if you'll be mine.
- Did you play your stuff for them? - No.
Why not?
I don't even know where their heads are right now.
They're into something new that I can't get next to.
I hope they know what the hell they are doing.
You're not gonna go on tour with them?
I don't want to talk about that crap, I want to talk about you.
How did it go today?
They hire me and they want to change everything about me.
I'm too short for the costumes, I'm too tall for the men...
I'm too loud for the songs, too quiet for the jokes.
I don't know what they want.
You just stick to your guns.
I'm sticking with you.
- You tired? - Yeah. I'm starving.
So am I. I want some beer and a pickle.
I want some oysters and Greek olives.
Let's have a picnic in bed.
Good idea.
I'll bring up some peanut butter and jelly and unfiltered honey.
God damn it!
- Forget it. Just don't answer it. - It's probably for you.
I don't care, just let it ring, maybe they'll go away.
Which reminds me. Jameson wants you to do an interview show on the 12th.
You've a wardrobe fitting and an insurance examination on the day after tomorrow.
Johnny, I don't want to talk about it now.
Let me finish it before I forget. You gotta have...
They want to know how many places you want at the...
table at the Grammy Awards.
And two hang ups.
Who said that the booze and the dope would ruin your brain?
Your memory ain't your liver anyway, is it?
I'm gonna make a drink, you want some?
What happened today, Johnny?
Why don't we talk about it?
Johnny?
And now to present this year's Grammy Award...
for the Best Performance by a Female Artist...
here are Rita Coolidge and Tony Orlando!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen!
This is the year where the have-nots, once again, give to the haves.
The winner is going to have to fight me off to get this.
Spoons, forks, guns, knives, it makes no difference.
Yes, indeed.
In fact, I wonder who the lucky person is. I hope they don't outweigh me.
You're a shoo-in.
Brian, I gotta leave.
He's probably stuck in traffic.
Bullshit, you know better. He probably forgot. I got to go find him.
The winner for the Best Performance by a Female Artist is Esther Hoffman!
Thank you.
I tell you, this one caught me by surprise...
I really didn't plan on winning it...
but I did prepare a little something, just in case, you know?
The problem is I wrote it on the tablecloth over there.
So you're gonna have to read it to me or something.
No, to make this as brief as possible...
there are two people that I would really like to thank.
Table six.
The first one is Abraham Burakovski, who...
What do you say, let's go outside, get some air.
Let go of my goddamn arm.
Let go of my arm.
Christ! I'm sorry, baby, I can't find my place.
They don't seem to have a place for me down here.
The second one is here with us tonight.
John Norman Howard.
Don't do that.
Not to me anyway.
At least don't do it to me.
You did something all by yourself and it was good.
You don't owe anybody a goddamn thing for that, not me, and certainly not them.
You don't have to thank them...
for the privilege of giving them something good.
I missed you all day, baby.
You're blowing your act.
I'm blowing whose act?
Good night, everyone, thank you.
Wait, you forgot your thing...
for best performance.
Which is what it's all about, ain't it?
What about the one you got for the worst performance?
You all know I deserve it.
And, God knows, I couldn't have done it without you.
Get him off the stage.
Anyway, I work hard for it, and I want it!
So where the fuck is it?
Let me see the worst thing you got to offer...
for the worst I got to offer!
You know, I'd really like to rub salt in your ass?
The Grammy Awards will continue after this commercial message.
Who the hell is Burakovski?
I'm okay!
...managed to upstage his Grammy Award-winning wife, Esther Hoffman.
You're an ass!
Keep the lights on them!
Out of the way!
Keep them in the shot. Go. Follow them.
Put the lights on it. Get a shot of that.
We're catching all the action for you!
Mr. Jesus Christ Superstar just belted out his new champion.
Tarzan, how does it feel to uncork on the old lady?
Johnny!
You see it?
What are you doing?
He's trying to kill me!
Stop it.
Shut off your goddamn lights!
When is it ever enough?
Don't you ever have enough?
What are you gonna do for an encore, set yourself on fire?
What is it? Don't you know how good you are?
What is it? Is it me?
Am I doing something wrong?
I love you, Johnny.
But it's not enough, is it?
I'm sorry, I can't...
This is ridiculous.
Wait a minute. Hold on.
Can you hold the playback, please?
I can't walk when I'm singing down the steps. I mean, I'll kill myself.
Could you please stop the playback? In rehearsal, we...
In rehearsal there was white tape on the floor...
I guess it was supposed to be the steps...
but anyway, actually, it comes in a very important part of my lyric.
Why don't I just stand there and sing the song?
I'm not trying to be difficult or anything, I'm just trying to get it right.
Hello?
Anybody hear me?
What's wrong? What's going on down there?
- I don't know, let me check! - Hi.
Can we take a break, please?
Roll it back, five minutes, everyone!
- Fucking star... - Your mike's on.
Sorry.
- You want a Valium? - Not yet.
- How's it going? - Fine.
How is he?
The same. I fly out to him on weekends.
And he pretends that it is okay, you know, for a day or so.
Then I pretend I don't notice he's pretending.
- Ms. Hoffman? - Hoffman.
- That's what I said. - What?
We have a little problem with your reflection.
We'll deal with it in a moment.
- All right. - I will be with you shortly.
I just can't do it anymore, Brian. I just...
I get on a plane, I lock myself in the bathroom...
and I scream all the way from Tucson to L.A.
Sometimes, I look at him when he's sleeping...
and he...
He has no pain in his face, no hurt.
He's so beautiful.
Can we see wardrobe in the booth, right away, please?
And I wish I could just...
wake him up and have him stay that way.
Calm, peaceful.
He's been writing songs, you know.
- Has he talked to you about them? - No, he doesn't call me.
Why don't you call him for Christ's sake, what are you waiting for?
You're supposed to be his oldest friend. What is it?
We have to check your light reflection.
- When I finish talking to Mr. Wexler... - Thank you.
- Thank you very much. - Okay, thank you.
He is my oldest friend.
He made me rich, turned my life around, I can't do any more for him.
That sucks, Brian.
There's a lot you can do for him. You can give him your time.
You can give him your support, you can earn your 25%...
Let's not justify this. I am as good a friend as you are.
I am not in love with him.
I don't have to believe something that's not true...
Don't say that, don't...
- Don't say that, Brian. - We're ready, Ms. Hoffman.
These songs...
that he's writing are really good.
I mean, they're not what...
you're used to hearing but they're really...
- fine. - Well...
let me go listen to them...
let me hear them, and we'll see.
We'll see.
It makes me angry that I have to pitch you like this...
that I have to sell you, make you go.
- Come on. - Why not go?
You don't have to pitch me, sell me, or ask me.
I'll go. If they're good...
I'll record them. I will record them, okay?
Okay.
I would appreciate that, Brian.
We're all waiting, Ms. Hoffman.
Thank you, John.
I like the songs.
You do?
Yeah.
Bull squash, Brian.
You got a different sound there, John, a different sound altogether.
I think we gotta give them some of your golden oldies.
Stuff that made you a household word.
I'll fix it, no favors. I'll make a mint.
You're new stuff is good, I'll record it if you want.
But I don't think they'll buy what they don't know.
I appreciate what you're doing...
but you can't have them songs anyway. I want them.
- I wanna start my own label. - That's good.
I'm getting too damn old for this road...
and I wanna be a mogul like you.
Live off everybody else.
Who are you?
Quentin.
Remember?
I used to be with Gary Danziger.
Oh, that Quentin.
How did you get in?
I came in with the pool man.
Guess how long I've had this.
Since Gary Danziger, I bet.
I was with him for a week.
It was a meaningful relationship.
Listen, you could help me out.
How about the same way you got in?
Listen, I'd like an interview.
I string for Rolling Stone and all the pop magazines.
An exclusive interview.
I bet you would.
This is far out.
Out of sight!
Blows the mind.
Boy, you really have a way with words.
I can't wait to see what you write.
Please. I'd do anything for this interview.
You can ask Gary what I'd do.
I'm sure he'd tell me.
Gary says I'm terrific. He really gets off on me.
Gary's been known to say things like that.
I'd really like this interview.
Far out.
Exclusive.
Out of sight.
With Esther.
Perfect.
He's home!
Fantastic.
John Norman!
You're back.
She wants an interview with you.
Yeah.
Far out, huh?
I'll get my tape recorder.
This means so much to me.
This is terrific. Give me a minute.
I'll get this tape recorder.
I don't know, this is amazing.
I'm really excited.
Okay, now wait a minute.
Get this tape recorder on here.
Okay.
Go!
What's the matter with her? Is she gonna talk to me, or what?
I did my part.
You dirty son of a bitch!
All right, get out.
- What do you mean, get out? - I mean, get out!
The hell with you, man.
Listen...
he couldn't make it anyway.
Put it in the interview. Don't leave anything out.
I said, get out!
I've had it with you.
You can trash your life, but you're not gonna trash mine.
Esther, for Christ's sake!
Esther, for God's sake.
God damn it, you're gonna hurt yourself.
You stupid bastard!
I won't let you humiliate me.
Fight!
Fight, you bastard!
Protect yourself.
I'll kill you.
I tried to tell you.
It's no good with me.
It was good.
You stupid...
Until you blew it.
With her?
You're crazy. She's nothing.
Don't insult me.
She has nothing to do with it.
- Esther. - Would you shut up?
What are you trying to do, make me hate you?
So long. I'll let you go.
Oh, God, how corny.
- Esther, listen... - Shut up, don't try to say anything to me.
I have to think.
- Baby... - Don't touch me.
Don't touch me.
I don't like you anymore.
Where the hell are you running to now, you fucking coward?
I don't wanna do this to you anymore.
Then fight for me, God damn it...
because if you keep walking...
I'll hate you.
And I'll hate you forever.
I love you, Esther.
Well, I hate you.
I love you.
I hate you.
- I love you. - I hate you.
I love you.
Johnny, I'm so happy we're going out together.
Yeah.
God, how great, no phones.
Did you call Brian about the tour?
No, not yet.
I figured I'll tell him when I pick him up at the airport tomorrow.
I can't wait to see his face.
I hope it's not too late to change all those ads and the promos.
You know what I want you to do?
I want you to tell me about the road again. Tell me again.
How's it gonna be? Go ahead.
Everything's gonna be all right.
Remember that thing you told me just the other night.
I don't wanna talk about it. I'm tired. Tired of words.
About how you weren't gonna let me trash your life.
I don't know what I said, I don't even remember.
Yeah, well, I do.
I liked the way you said it. You were right.
Yeah, well, maybe I can teach you something, too.
What I liked about it was that...
it sounded like you knew who you were.
I'm Esther Hoffman Howard.
That's right.
And don't you ever forget it.
Where are you going?
I gotta go pick up Brian.
Oh, I forgot.
Just wait a minute, okay?
I'll get dressed, okay?
It's so cold.
I wish you could come back to bed with me.
You go back to sleep, darling.
I'll go get him.
He would have to take an early plane, wouldn't he?
That's Brian.
- You hurry up home now, okay? - Okay.
I'll have breakfast waiting for you.
Like a good little wife.
What?
Just looking, baby.
I love you.
Hey, boy. Good morning.
Yeah, that's a good dog.
5821 to Adam.
All right, I'm about 14 miles due east...
of the interstate on County 327.
I've got a single-vehicle fatality, no secondary vehicle involvement.
The subject vehicle left the roadway approximately 160 mph.
Crossed the shoulder, impact at 145 feet due east.
No roll bar, no subsequent fire damage.
The deceased will be transported by rescue ambulance.
- 10-4, bye, Victor. - 10-4, Grace.
- I got it. - Go on. Get out of here.
You, too, mac.
He needs a blanket. Could you... Bring him a blanket, okay?
Could you please not stare at him now? Just...
I'm so scared, Johnny.
I don't know what to do.
Hold me!
Please, hold me!
Gotta move him.
What?
Gotta move him, honey, come on.
No.
- Yes, we gotta move him. - No.
- Come on. - No.
No, please, don't.
Be gentle with him, please.
- He'll be all right. - Don't hurt him.
- One...
two...
three.
Come on, let me give you a hand.
Watch your foot there.
- I got it. - Come on, lady, please.
I told you to get out of here.
You, too, buddy. Enough is enough.
Just one more.
He was like a brother to me.
I don't know what you boobies call him...
but Bebe Jesus calls him one of the greats.
One of the all-time greats.
John Norman Howard.
Can somebody pick that up out there?
Johnny.
- Hello? - Johnny.
No, this isn't her secretary.
Hey, lady.
How do you turn this thing off?
You're a liar.
And you're a big talker.
Talk.
What the hell is wrong with you, anyway?
You're selfish, that's what.
Shit!
Oh, God!
You are a very selfish person.
And a liar!
Because you promised me, you son of a bitch, you promised me.
You promised me and you lied.
You lied.
You lied to me!
I'm sorry, Johnny.
It's just that there were so many things I wanted to tell you.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Esther Hoffman Howard.